Josh Harris discusses the dangers of media and what it means to lop off your hand (Matthew 5:30):

This year I was with C. J. and a group of friends watching the Super Bowl. I don’t think I saw more than two commercials the whole time. C. J. had the remote, and as soon as commercials came on he’d switch to C-SPAN, possibly the safest channel available. Why does he do it? Doesn’t he know how entertaining and interesting the commercials during the Super Bowl can be? Yes, and he also knows how often they use sex to sell their products. He knows that nothing he might miss is worth exposing himself to lustful images. . . .

At times when I’ve traveled and stayed at hotels I have sinned against God by mindlessly surfing through the channels.  I don’t necessarily stop and view something sinful, but I surf by it knowing there’s a good chance something will flash before my eyes.  God has helped me to see my own sinful desire in those moments.  Even though I’m just flipping by, this is an expression of lust.  Because of my poor track record, I’ve made it my habit not to even turn the TV on in a hotel (Josh Harris, Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is).

Her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little (Luke 7:47).

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This track is from Relevant Revolution.

Doug Wilson has some really interesting things to say about the correct attitude for both men and women toward the standard of beauty the culture presents to us:

So then, what happened in our discussion of this? After posting a picture of a woman in evangelical leadership [Miss California in a bikini] in order to demonstrate some of the more obvious incongruities, many of the responses from the men showed that they were battling against lust (good), but appeared to have no awareness of where the templates of the current ideal were coming from (bad). A similar thing happens with Christian women. Christian women resent being held up to that as the ideal shape, but not for the right reason. They don’t resent it because they think is a ludicrous ideal, they resent it (or feel insecure about it) because they don’t believe they can measure up to it. They resent the failure, which is not the same thing as opposing the standard. Resenting the failure is actually a way of accepting the standard, in this case a standard crafted by homosexuals. But I don’t think the ideal woman should be crafted by homosexual designers the same way that first graders play with Mr. Potato Head.

Christian men fail to oppose the standard also — they hold that it is in fact the ideal shape but that they oughtn’t ever look at it. And they might succeed in their battle against lust, never ever looking, while the entire time they freely allow the world to dictate to them the shape of the objectum prohibitum.

We are still trying to figure out what to do with our queen when it was taken off the chess board three moves ago.

The following quote from The Confessions of Saint Augustine is something singles and parents in American culture need to keep in mind.  The culture Augustine grew up in was very different from American culture yet also quite similar.  The major difference with respect to marriage was it wasn’t uncommon for marriages to be arranged.  The major similarity was marriage was sometimes delayed to pursue other things.  (As you read this also take note of the unadulterated Christian hedonism of Augustine.)

Now I want to call to mind the foul deeds I committed, those sins of the flesh that corrupted my soul, not in order to love them, but to love you, my God.  Out of love for loving you I do this, recalling my most wicked ways and thinking over the past with bitterness so that you may grow ever sweeter to me; for you are a sweetness that deceives not, a sweetness blissful and serene. . . .

From the mud of my fleshly desires and my erupting puberty belched out murky clouds that obscured and darkened my heart until I could not distinguish the calm light of love from the fog of lust.  The two swirled about together and dragged me, young and weak as I was, over the cliffs of my desires, and engulfed me in a whirlpool of sins. . . .

Who was there to alleviate my distress?  No one took thought to arrange a marriage for me, so that my pursuit of fleeting beauties through most ignoble experiences might be diverted into useful channels.  Some bounds might have been set to my pleasures if only the stormy surge of my adolescence had flung me up onto the shore of matrimony. . . .

But I was far too impetuous, poor wretch, so I went with the floodtide of my nature and abandoned you.  I swept across all your laws, but I did not escape your chastisements, for what mortal can do that?  You were ever present to me, mercifully angry, sprinkling very bitter disappointments over all my unlawful pleasures so that I might seek a pleasure free from all disappointment. . . .  Yet none of my family made any attempt to avert my ruin by arranging a marriage for me; their only concern was that I should learn to excel in rhetoric and persuasive speech. . . .

My natural mother had by this time fled from the center of Babylon, though she still lingered in its suburbs.  She warned me to live chastely, but did not extend her care to restraining within the bounds of conjugal love (if it could not be cut right back to the quick) this behavior of mine, of which she had heard from her husband, even though she judged it to be corrupt already and likely to be dangerous in the future.  Her reluctance to arrange a marriage for me arose from the fear that if I were encumbered with a wife my hope could be dashed—not in you for the world to come, to which she held herself, but my hope of academic success.  Both my parents were very keen on my making progress in study:  my father because he thought next to nothing about you and only vain things about me; and my mother, because she regarded the customary courses of studies as no hindrance, and even a considerable help, toward my gaining you eventually. . . .  Throughout these experiences a dark fog cut me off from your bright truth, my God, and my sin grew sleek on my excesses (Confessions: Book II, emphasis mine).

Compare Augustine’s words to the words of Paul:

Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. . . .  To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:2,8-9).

The average age of a person at the time of his first wedding in the US is 26.  Augustine was between the ages of 14 and 16 in the period of his life described above for which he lamented his parents had not arranged him a marriage.

I do not think marriage should be considered normative for Christians in the time since Jesus’ resurrection.  Nor is singleness normative.  Each is a gift.  But woe to those who aren’t given the gift of celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:6-7); America is a dangerous place to grow up.

This one comes out of the Piper vault.  From 1981, John and Noël answer some very candid questions from Bethel students on topics including singleness, sex, masturbation, dating, and marriage.

Part 1 (download):
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Part 2 (download):
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Not in reveling in drunkenness, not in lust and wantonness, not in quarrels and rivalries. Rather, arm yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ; spend no more thought on nature and nature’s appetites (Romans 13:13-14).