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Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

This Momentary Marriage

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Physical Attraction in Marriage

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

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Is it biblical to think that physical attraction must be a component of a godly marriage?

No, I don’t think it is biblical to think that way. And I don’t think it’s rational to think that way either.

It would have two implications:

  1. No homely people, no plain people, would get married.
  2. Those who get married when they are pretty, and then change when they get old—lose their hair, get wrinkles, and get flabby—would fall out of love and would have no good marriages anymore.

I mean, that’s just ridiculous. And yet I suppose the question is asked because there is such an emphasis, I guess, in our culture that if you don’t look really attractive you’re probably not going to get married. If you don’t look really attractive, you’re probably going to cause your wife or husband to go looking for somebody else. . . .

I think when Jesus looks at us, if he doesn’t look at us in himself, he’s not going to be excited about this marriage feast at the end of the age.

The word “biblical” in this question is perhaps intended to take me to a text. And of course the text that comes to mind is, when it speaks to beauty, 1 Peter 3:3: “Don’t let your beauty be the outward beauty of the wearing of gold, and the braiding of hair, and the wearing of clothes.”

It doesn’t say “fine clothes.” It’s just “clothes,” so you know it’s not an absolute, as though not wearing clothes is a good thing. It means the jewelry, the hair, and the clothes are not the focus. And our culture needs to hear that unbelievably. Marriages need to hear it, men need to hear it. That’s not the main focus of beauty. The focus should be the inner spirit (John Piper).

Read the full transcript.